Thursday, March 14, 2013

you are my i love you...

"I am your parent you are my child
I am your quiet place, you are my wild
I am your calm face, you are my giggle
I am your wait, you are my wiggle…
I am your audience, you are my clown
I am your London Bridge, you are my falling down
I am your Carrot Sticks, you are my licorice
I am your dandelion, you are my first wish…
I am your water wings, you are my deep
I am your open arms, you are my running leap
I am your way home, you are my new path
I am your dry towel, you are my wet bath…
I am your dinner you are my chocolate cake
I am your bedtime, you are my wide awake
I am your finish line, you are my race
I am your praying hands, you are my saving grace
I am your favourite book, you are my new lines
I am your nightlight, you are my sunshine
I am your lullaby, you are my peek-a-boo
I am your kiss goodnight, you are my I love you"
~Maryann K Cusimano
Words cannot describe how much I love this boy. He is my wild. He is my wide awake. He is my running leap. He is my clown. He is my wiggle. He is my child. 
And I wouldn't trade him for the world.

Sunday, February 17, 2013

he truth about black and white.

The truth about black and white is that there never is just that; black and white. There's a lot of in between that we leave out. The truth about black and white is that if life were really just black and white or black or white, things would be a lot simpler. But it's not.
It's a lot like dreaming. You're not really awake, but you're not entirely asleep.

I'm stuck in the in between. Not in the black or the white. Not quite sleeping, but not quite awake.

But I have this:
©Emily Robin Photography
©Emily Robin Photography
©Emily Robin Photography
©Emily Robin Photography
And every single day, he gets me through. 
When Josh leaves for work, and the kids are off to school, it's just the two of us. He's comforted me through a lot of tears this year. His sweet little voice has brought me to the surface more times than I can count. Truth is, sometimes I can't tell if it's the child that needs the parent or the parent that needs the child more. I could not be more grateful for this tiny man.

I promise I'll be back soon. Still just trying to wake up.
©Emily Robin Photography

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

constantly flowing...

I can't sleep. As I sit her in front of this glowing screen, my house silent due to peaceful slumber (all but my own), I can't help but reflect on all that has happened since my last post. It was over a year ago. How does a year pass without me sitting down to note a few of the huge things that have happened in our lives? I don't even know where to begin. I suppose that's just how life goes. There is no exact moment of  beginning to events and things that happen or their end. Sometimes things just don't end, you just get used to them and it becomes the normal. There is no start or end, really. It's more like a constant flow that occasionally, or very often in some cases, mixes in a new ingredient. Like a constant flow of water ... all of a sudden there's also oil... and then color... and then salt... and then  sugar... the flow keeps moving, but the mixture is ever changing. That's our life. It started out so simple and easy. We knew what we had; water. But now we have some crazy mixture of lots and lots of different things. Can't tell when one started pouring in, just all of a sudden you could taste the difference. 
Our move from Sheridan to Minot seemed this way. Like it would be one big event that would eventually end. But it doesn't end, it's just that this is our new "water". This is where we live and what we do. 
None of this makes sense, but in a way it does. So, I'm leaving it.

Paxton is missing from this blog. And how could that be? We can't even imagine what our lives would be like without him. He just fits. Our family is whole. I need to write a bit about him because it tugs at me that he is already 18 months old. When I was pregnant and alone, in Sheridan with the kids while Josh was here, these days weren't even imaginable in my mind. I was so absorbed in every detail of what was going on then, that it slipped my mind how quickly things change. You'd think that by now, after having all these kids, I'd know that it goes by so fast, I'd maybe remember, but I didn't. 
Paxton is...
He doesn't fall short when comparing him to his siblings. He is everything they are, but so very different, as they all are. It's amazing that they came from the exact two people and are so very different. Paxton has stolen my heart. Or what was left of it after Z, Lex, and  Ryd have made their marks. I am cherishing every single moment with him as I am afraid that it is just slipping away. I wasn't ready for him to walk, talk, run, jump. Don't get me wrong, it's all darling, but I could have handled it if he were a baby a teeny tiny bit longer. Everyone loves him, including the other kids. Lexi is his second mom. Sometimes I think she does a way better job than I do, too. She gets him on her bed and reads to him, teaches him how to kindly pet the cat and is sure to be stern with him when he pulls her tail instead. Zach is so gentle with Pax. He never heads to bed without giving him a kiss and a snuggle first. Pax loves to jump off his bed and into his arms. And Ryder... Ryder and Pax are going to be very good friends. I can already see it. Even though it scares me to death, I love it. My two mad-men, out to get their thrills. My adrenaline junkies. today I caught Pax climbing the shelves in the laundry room. It's a good thing Josh anchored that bad boy! And he has, several times over, attempted to dig the fish out of the bowl after he had climbed on top of the piano to reach it. Poor Peeta. 
I may have had a slight heart attack the day Ryder started kindergarten. I am recovering. Slowly, but still. It's an odd thing to go from having a person be with you every single hour of every single day and then all of a sudden not. It was the same with the others. But maybe different considering the new town/school...I miss him all day. Every day. But, I have to admit that my time spent alone with Paxton has been very rewarding. He and I have become quite the pair. He follows me, I follow him. We do our thing and it works very nicely. He loves to help me with my chores... very fond of starting the dishwasher and the clothes dryer. He is great at helping me get any of the dropped clothes directly into the dryer. I love to watch his sweet little finger push the start button. You have to hold it for three seconds for it to start and I'm pretty sure that it was invented to be like that just so that I could have this kairos in time and stare at the damn cute pointer finger for a little bit longer. I examine every tiny wrinkle and bend, the nail and the soft as silk skin...three seconds ins't a lot, but I'll take any second of time that he actually holds to still to admire the incredible miracle that the creature truly is. 
And he is mine. 
God picked me to be this mama. WOW! What a blessing beyond explanation. I just don't even know how to thank God for choosing me. I'm at a loss every day because I feel so inadequate. I have these tiny human beings that are mine, all mine. And why? How did I get picked? He gave the very best ones to me. That's it. I am God's favorite. Hate to break it to you all, but that is the only logical reason I can think of why he would give THEM to ME!!! But why would I be His favorite??? Oh goodness... I am just. So. Thankful.
I love you, Paxton Jack.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

most beautiful...

© Emily Robin Photography
Growing up we depend on our parents for everything. Everything. They feed us, bathe us, dress us... all of these things that are necessary to survive. But then there are the other things... the things that enable us to thrive. And we depend on those things just the same. Our parents know it. And, they deliver.   
© Emily Robin Photography
These two, my parents, never failed me. Never. Without a doubt ever in my mind, they have loved me unconditionally simply for being. All I have ever had to do to earn this love from them was to just be. I never in my entire life felt like I had to earn their love or compete for it. I never struggled to know where I belong. In their hearts. 
© Emily Robin Photography
I once read that the nicest thing a dad can do for his children is to love their mother. The opposite is also true. My parents always radiated love. I knew that they loved me and my siblings but I also knew that they loved each other. I knew that when I grew up I wanted to be the kind of woman that my mother was and still is. Strong, independent, creative, kinder than kind, gracious, loving, a damn good cook, and the best mom ever. I also knew that when I grew up I wanted to marry a man just like my father. A man that was never afraid to show his love, he is brave, funny to no end, smart, willing to take chances, adventurous and will do anything to provide for his family.
I have always looked up to these two in awe and admiration. And now my husband and children do the same.
© Emily Robin Photography
They are the most beautiful human beings ever.
They have taught me...
That kindness comes first
To never underestimate myself
Love with every inch of my being
Life is for living. To the fullest.
It's okay to be a "skipper"
Atlanta Braves have always and will always be the very best baseball team
Nothing is worth doing if it's not done whole hearted
It's okay to make mistakes
The best things in life aren't things
Dance when my heart tells me to dance
Sing when my heart tells me to sing
Appreciate the small things
Kill with kindness
Smile at strangers
Be proud of who I am
Do not speak out of anger
Family comes first
In the scheme of things, money means nothing
The importance of travel
Nothing soothes the soul like a handful of jerky and a cruise around the lake
Never miss a chance to tell the people you love that you love them
© Emily Robin Photography
Follow my heart
Try new things
Never give up
Time is the best gift to give one another
There's no place like home
Enjoy every second
You're never to big to sit on you're daddy's lap
Keep other's secrets
Do not judge
Take care of your loved ones
Celebrate every chance you get
Never take things for granted
I can do anything my heart desires
Count your blessings
...this list could go on forever and ever.
© Emily Robin Photography
Among raising four children of their own, they have so gracefully taken on being grandparents. One of the best things about having them for parents is having them for my children's Nanny and Pa-pa. My kids and their cousins are the luckiest children alive. Aside from their parents, no one loves them more wholly and truly.
My parents never stop giving. They never stop loving. Their spirits are contagious to anyone and everyone that knows them. They are like magnets that suck you in. You cannot stay away from these two. My parents are the parents that everyone wants. And they are mine. MINE!! How blessed am I?!
Words cannot describe.
© Emily Robin Photography
These two have never failed me. I am eternally grateful for all that I have been given in my life. First thing, my parents. Growing up you depend on your parents. Thing is, you never stop. I need these people in my life just as much now as I did then. Just for different things. My parents are my best friends. Both my heroes. 
© Emily Robin Photography
My parents. The most beautiful.
I love you mom and daddy. To forever and ever (and back).

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

our lovie...

© Emily Robin Photography
© Emily Robin Photography
© Emily Robin Photography
© Emily Robin Photography
© Emily Robin Photography
© Emily Robin Photography
© Emily Robin Photography
© Emily Robin Photography
© Emily Robin Photography
© Emily Robin Photography
© Emily Robin Photography
© Emily Robin Photography
© Emily Robin Photography
© Emily Robin Photography
© Emily Robin Photography
© Emily Robin Photography
© Emily Robin Photography
If you know my niece, our little Lovie, you know this...
♥she brightens any room with her smile
♥she loves her mama
♥she hates wearing socks
♥she has two big brothers that ADORE her
♥she is still working on hair
♥she has her papa wrapped around her little finger
♥she just turned one
♥she has the cutest little grunt known to man
♥her eyes are the color of slate
♥she says "bye-bye" cuter and sweeter than anyone in the universe
♥she and nanny are best friends
♥she feels so good cuddled up into my arms
♥her eye lashes are no shorter than an inch
♥she crawls her way around
♥my children could not imagine a life without her
♥she examines the faces of every little toy she picks up
♥she drinks big girl milk now
♥she loves treats
♥her giggle stretches the heart to undescribable measures
♥she has stolen my husband's heart
♥she is way cuter than a button
♥she is way sweeter than pie
♥her voice is more precious than angels'
♥she deserved a party fit for nothing less than a queen
♥she made this last year a brighter place for anyone and everyone that knows her
♥she beams and kicks her legs at the sight of her daddy
♥she makes the sun shine brighter
♥she makes days happier
♥she makes hearts warmer
♥she is my girl
♥her auntie is crazy about her
Happy birthday to my sweet girl. You have no idea what you mean to me.
Auntie Em

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

i heart faces...

I have decided to submit a photo to i heart faces this week for a couple of different reasons. I have kept up with my other photog friends and their submissions and always thought it was a fun way to share your favorite images. This week the challeng is "pets". As some of you know, we have had a sad year in the pet department. In March our dear Labradoodle,Rosie Toes was hit by a car. The damage caused was too much to even begin to repair and we had to make a very difficult decision to put her down. Rosie was only a year and a half and such a big part of our family. We came upon our time with her by pure accident, but it seemed asthough she was meant to be ours. Rosie had a special place in Little Missy's heart and vise versa. She slept on her bed every night and was always protective of her. When she died we went through a long bought of time where Little Miss couldn't sleep and cried every night and had to sleep with us most nights. She is finally repairing her sweet heart from the loss of her doggie. About a month later, my parent's dog, Jett, whom has been in our family since I was only 10,  really began to suffer from old age. He was coming up on  16. That's pretty old for a dog! After much thought and prayer, my parents did what any humane person would do and put him to rest. This was such a sad moment for our entire family. Jett was part of the family for so very long and we will miss him terribly. My mom just had a knee replacement done and was still in the hospital when it was Jett's time to go. As a gift to my mom, dad and our entire family, I visited this good 'ol boy the morning of his passing to say goodbye and to snap a few shots. I will never forget my children asking him to say hello to their Rosie for them. We say that she was waiting for him in the grassy fields of heaven.  As I snapped away, Jett didn't move far from his bed. There was an amazing glow around him as if God was calling him home. He was at such peace.
Here is my submission for i♥faces...

I have a ton of images from that morning that I could have shared, but his one just speaks to my heart.

© Emily RobinPhotography

Rest in peace, Jetty Boy. And say hello to Rosie Toes for us.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

time flies...

Time really does go by too fast. Cherish every moment.
© Emily Robin Photography
Here's wishing you all a wonderful weekend and a quick shout out to my fabulous husband. I couldn't have found a better daddy for my precious babes! Thank you for all you do! And to my own daddy... I love you! Happy {early} Fathers Day to two of the best daddies I know!

Tuesday, May 3, 2011


while watching some royal wedding coverage a couple mornings ago...
me: "that's the prince, william, and he is going to get married today, to a princess"
ryder: "and you're going to marry me, right mommy" (insert gorgeous smile here)
me: "well, honey, i married daddy"
ryder: "yea, but, you're gonna marry me, too, right? cause i'm your prince, mommy, and you're my princess, right?" (instert gorgeous eyelash batting here)
me: "yes, rydie, you're my prince indeed!"
oh ryder man.. you make my heart swoon... i love you forever♥

© Emily Robin Photography

© Emily Robin Photography

© Emily Robin Photography

© Emily Robin Photography

© Emily Robin Photography

and the "flower" he picked for me...

© Emily Robin Photography

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a mama of 3 and the wife of mr. right


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